Trying to drive down Meridian between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. on a week day cannot really be considered driving, more like stopping for 10 minutes and then driving forward three feet before you stop again.
The road is full of people who apparently do not know what they are doing. You watch as cars slam their breaks and you yell from inside your car at the driver who thinks it is a good idea to try and get into the left lane, of course without asking first.
But Meridian on its worst day does not even compare to the horrific mess that is the high school hallway.
You see, what people do not understand is that the hallway should be treated as if it is a road. Pretend each student is a vehicle and you are trying not to crash. And just like in the real world, on a real, concrete road, there are rules you must follow. Although violating hallway etiquette may not result in a ticket, be prepared to experience some pretty severe shoulder bumps, glares from irritated peers and possibly whispers from fellow classmates about your horrible navigation habits. Take in this hallway etiquette, absorb it and use it:
Hallways are not a one-way street.
Let me repeat that. Hallways are not a one-way street, I cannot stress this enough.
This is the most vital and important rule of the hallways. Always stay on the right side.
That includes but is not limited to main hallways, outdoor hallways, staircases and back staircases.
There are two lanes. It is for a reason. Do not walk on the wrong side of the hallway. I will run you over and feel no remorse.
Learn how to merge.
If you are coming out of the cafeteria and decide to take left, cutting through a lane of student traffic to get there, it is in your best interest to wait for a break in the hoards of teenagers running by. This will keep them from being late to their next class and keep you from being trampled.
Lastly and the most important rule: under no circumstances should you ever stop abruptly in the middle of the hallway.
You will create traffic jams. You will bring the entire student body to a halt. Someone will get rear ended and someone will be angry.
Do not be that person.
If your shoe comes untied, move out of the way.
If you see an old friend and need to give them a hug, save the reunion for open spaces, not eight-foot wide aisles with hundreds of kids just trying to get to class.
Keep moving, swiftly and with a purpose, your focus is to get to your next class. Make that your mission. Do not stray away from your mission. Keep your eyes on the road at all times, and remember:
Hallways are not a one-way street.