Coming out.

Telling just one person the truth about who you are can be extremely scary. While watching the movie “Love, Simon” there were a lot of things that spoke to me.

“Love, Simon” follows Simon Spier, played by Nick Robinson, through his coming-out journey and how he deals with different situations of friendship, love and hate. As a gay high school student, I have never been able to relate to a movie so much.

Life can be pretty easy when everyone around you presumes you are straight. My friends would ask me what guys I was crushing on, I would just make up a lie with the first guy that came to my head to humor them for the night. I relate to Simon in the movie because he is tempted to stay in the closet until he is in college, so that people would not change the way they looked at or thought of him.

He could be whomever he wanted to be at college without hiding his true colors. It is difficult, though, because it is so hard not being completely honest with yourself and to others for such a long time.

Coming out to my friends and family as gay was one of the hardest things I had ever done but also the most rewarding. Hiding who I was for so many years actually ate me alive. I felt like I was stuck in my own little boxed up world with no one to really talk to.

The part of the movie that hit me the most is how Simon struggled to tell his friends and his family he was gay. It took me four years to finally come out and be open with everyone that I cared about. I felt so free once I finally was out, it felt like I was able to breathe again.

It took me a long time until I was finally ready to come out to my parents. I told most of my friends a long time before I told my mom and dad. I knew that both of my parents would be supportive of it but it was still a scary feeling. Coming out on your own time is such an important thing.

Simon gets outed to people at his school in the movie and he states, “That is supposed to be my thing, I am supposed to be the one to decide when and where and who knows.” Having someone pressure you to come out can be really hard. I had a couple of friends who were pressuring me to tell my mom and always telling me that she would be okay with me being gay. It is no one else’s job to determine how or when someone comes out. It is entirely up to the person who is coming out.

Simon wonders, “Why is straight the default;” most straight people do not understand how hard it is to come out and all of the struggles that come with it because they are considered normal. “Love, Simon” really digs deep and opens up the process that a lot of LGBT kids go through when they are getting ready to come out. It is a very relatable story for many people, including myself. Everyone’s coming out story is completely different. Some people are lucky, like me and have family and friends who support and love them unconditionally, while others are not so lucky.

I wish I had a movie like “Love, Simon” when I was coming out.