Music is an almost uniquely human experience, and the emotions that transpose from the artist to the listener can be intense yet so cathartic.
The ability to speak is already so underappreciated by many; a daily task that we complete automatically with no conscious effort. So much power is held within our words.
The power to build, the power to destroy, the power to spread information or the power to take it away.
In a way, whether music has lyrics or not, it is a direct extension of that power which we hold and that which no other animal possesses.
The emotions expressed through sounds are raw and can impact people in so many ways. Some forms of music don’t hit any check marks for certain people’s tastes and some forms seem to be enjoyed to some extent by almost everybody.
The first exposure to music that gave me those same raw emotions happened when I ran across “Heart-Shaped Box” by Nirvana in the credits to a movie. Though I do not remember the movie now, I remember the obsession that took over me and how I needed to experience that feeling again – the feelings of anger and hopeless power and aggression displayed in such a thoughtful and structural way. I dove very deeply into Nirvana’s whole discography and I realized quickly that I wanted to perform and create my own sounds. So, I asked for a guitar.
At the age of 12, I received a classical guitar and I truly felt like I wanted to learn this instrument. At school, I had been made to learn recorder and even ukulele at one point, but neither of them truly clicked for me. When I picked up this guitar, it just felt right to me.
I never took any formal lessons, the closest I got was a book with some fundamental music training and a CD going over the same content. I plainly ignored these and started learning songs that I enjoyed. About a Girl by Nirvana was the very first, and it sprung me forward with great momentum towards an intrinsic goal; to channel emotion and feeling into art that I truly feel passionate about.
My collection of guitars grew over the years, but one notable addition was my Kurt Cobain signature Fender Jaguar. While I do not listen to Nirvana often now, and while my musical tastes have expanded in a multitude of different directions, this guitar was the instrument that I learned the most with. I learned to play along with entire live performances, learning the intricacies of each song and singing along at the same time. Many fundamentals that I take for granted now were acquired through much trial and error using that guitar.
Many bands and artists have left a deep impact on me since then. Alice in Chains, Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, Deftones, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake and many more all creep their way into my own music when I am writing.
Gaining the courage to write my own music took me years. I have only seriously been sharing music I have written with specific people over the past few months, about 6 years since I started learning. I feel confident in the art I create only because I have spent countless hours teaching myself what sounds good on both guitar and through my vocals. Had I taken formal lessons, perhaps my time for sharing my creations would have come sooner. However, any time is a good time to start sharing, and I do not regret teaching myself at all.
The momentum keeps building as I find people that feel as passionate as I do about music, and the collaboration that has come from that has been immensely helpful. Art and music are great to explore alone but doing it with others that care just as much is a new experience entirely. The emotions you feel on your own feel all the more exciting once someone else validates them and relates.
Anyone can appreciate music if they find the right sound for themselves. The connections created through shared musical interests are some of the strongest bonds humans can create. It is a beautiful and vulnerable thing to create something for others to hear or to be on the listening end.